


Light After Darkness

by ladykardasi



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Challenge Response, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Other, Plotbunnies, Pon Farr, Strong elements of K/S., the Spock fuh-q fest many years ago
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 19:12:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10905678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladykardasi/pseuds/ladykardasi
Summary: Spock mourns the loss of his lover all over again after Kirk dies on Veridian III in 2375. He arrives while the Enterprise crew is still on Veridian III. Data makes an unexpected offer.Strong elements of K/S. Some angst. Touching on Kirk's death quite a lot.





	Light After Darkness

Spock moved away from the bridge of the crashed Enterprise.

"It is a cumbersome sight," he said aloud to the captain, walking by his side. 

"There have been a lot of tragic events occurring lately," Picard agreed and his face was drawn tight and the lines around his eyes made him look tired and worn-out. 

Spock sensed that there was more to the captain's words than he was leading on. Not only the death of James T. Kirk, or the destruction of the Enterprise D. But it was not his place to ask questions such as those. He moved over the rubble and allowed himself a sigh. Watching the black trail through the greenery left by the out-of-control crash of the saucer section made him shudder. So many powerful events... Some averted and some - ending in disaster. 

"Are you ready to leave?" Picard asked. "I'll speak to the captain of the Farragut. Data has agreed to pilot you to the site."

There was no question of where he was going. Picard knew that he wished to see Jim's grave, and it was time to go now. Spock answered with a short incline of his head. He did not quite trust his voice. 

Moments later, Lt Commander Data appeared and Spock made an effort to collect himself. 

"Greetings, Ambassador Spock," Data said, offering the Vulcan salute. "It is a pleasure to meet you again."

"Likewise, Commander," Spock replied, answering the same way. He watched the android curiously. There was something different about him from the last time they met, but Spock was unable to ascertain what it was. Perhaps it was the ease with which Data smiled or the uncharacteristic warmth in his eyes. 

"Shall we?" the android asked and made a sweep of his hand to invite Spock to walk ahead of him. "The shuttlecraft are behind this hill."

Spock nodded curtly and followed the path that had already been made between the trees. Hundreds of feet had walked there in the last two days. It was amazing how much of the crashed spaceship the Starfleet officers had managed to get rid of in such a short time, and how much was still left to do. 

"It is very fortunate that the population on Veridian III does not have airborne vehicles, " Data pointed out. 

"Indeed. It would surely make your work much more difficult." 

* * *

Data watched the Vulcan as he walked along the path. Spock had always seemed aloof and quite unemotional to him, but now, he seemed even more unapproachable. Data, with his new understanding for emotions, tried to look beyond the obvious. He studied the austere face unobtrusively, as he caught up with Spock, walking beside him. The Vulcan's face was drawn tight, like carved in granite. It was as if Spock was fearful of moving a facial muscle, lest they give in and show something dark and deeply disturbing. 

Data searched his memory banks and came up with some interesting information. There were old rumors, tales and indications he had not previously been aware of. Perhaps it explained a lot. Spock's unusual stand-offish-ness, had a reason. If the rumors were true. 

* * *

Nothing more was said for a while, as they walked through the trees, and Spock was grateful. He had to focus most of his energy on keeping his emotions in check. Losing Kirk had been difficult enough the first time. 

He pushed the thoughts of Jim away and tried to focus on Data instead. Spock remembered him differently, somewhat colder, more distant. Commander Data was a curious creature, aspiring to become more human, whereas he - Spock, had fought his human ancestry his entire life. Recently, he had succumbed to the fact that his humanness was part of him and he would have to reconcile with that. 

They exited the trees and reached the open space where three shuttles were guarded by Starfleet personnel. They reached the designated shuttle and Data showed his clearance code. The guards stepped aside and allowed them to enter the vehicle. Spock seated himself silently, while Data's fingers moved deftly over the controls and they were in the air. 

It soon became clear that Data was an able pilot and Spock allowed himself to relax somewhat. He knew he had to take every opportunity to rest in the coming days. Looking through the side-window of the shuttle he noticed that this region of Veridian III was rather barren. The landscape consisted mostly of sand and rock formations interspersed with small areas of trees and dry shrubbery. It reminded Spock of Vulcan, just outside of Shi'kahr, in many ways even though the skies here were blue. It seemed very wrong that his friend and lover would meet his death on such a barren place. 

"What happened?" Spock found himself asking. The need to know was becoming unbearable. He had not had time to ask Picard much about what had occurred on the planet's surface. The captain was a busy man. Data, surprisingly, seemed to immediately understand what he wanted to know. 

"I believe the ideal person to answer your questions would be Captain Picard, Ambassador Spock." Data said with his soft, pleasant voice. 

"Tell me what you know, Commander Data," Spock asked. 

Data grew silent for a few seconds and the shuttle moved across the plains. His facial expression didn't reveal much of his thoughts. But then he began to speak: 

"As you know, Captain Kirk was drawn into the spatial phenomenon that the Enterprise B encountered in 2295. He survived and was caught in the phenomenon. When the captain found himself in the Nexus he realized that time did not seem to exist there."

"I see. This means that Jim was living inside the Nexus for the past 80 years? He wasn't killed."

"It would seem so, Ambassador."

"And he had not aged?" Spock remembered Jim, as he had looked that day he disappeared. They had parted outside the Federation council building. Spock had declined to join the crew on the maiden voyage of the Enterprise B because he had prior engagements. It had not seemed very important. They had parted with a brief kiss and the promise of meeting again for dinner that same evening.

A stab of grief ran through Spock at the memory. He'd forgotten how much he had loved Jim Kirk. No, he corrected himself, he had not forgotten, he had simply buried those feelings as deeply within himself as he was capable. They hurt too much back then. It was quite clear that they still hurt too much. 

* * *

Data shot a worried glance at his companion. It seemed the carefully stoic facade was about to crumble. Spock's breathing was changing subtly, and his heartbeat had increased. Something set an alarm inside Data and he began monitoring the Vulcan's life-signs. 

He hesitated for a moment, but realized that not telling Spock what he wanted to know might be worse than if Data did explain everything he knew about Captain Kirk's death. Data frowned inwardly. After so many years, he wished he understood human's better, but for all their complexity, it seemed Vulcans were even more difficult to comprehend. 

* * *

Spock listened more carefully as Data kept speaking: 

"To Kirk, apparently no more than a few days had passed since he arrived in the Nexus. Captain Picard persuaded him to leave and help him defeat Soran."

Spock didn't reply. It was too distressing to even contemplate. Jim alive; a Jim who had come back to this time and space no older than when he disappeared eighty years ago. If it hadn't been for Soran, they could have been granted another couple of decades together. Spock closed his eyes for a brief moment. The emotions were difficult to suppress, especially now. Spock had thought Kirk was lost forever. His pain now was more difficult to handle than the hurt he had first felt when Starfleet had pronounced Jim MIA nearly a century ago. 

Data landed the shuttle with a soft thump, beneath the hill where Kirk's grave was located, and the doors slid apart. 

"The grave is up there," Data said and pointed. 

"Thank you." Spock hardly recognized his own voice. It was even harsher than usual. 

"Would you prefer to be alone, Ambassador?" 

Spock nodded. "Yes, Commander, I believe I would like this moment to myself," he agreed. 

Data inclined his head and waited by the shuttlecraft as Spock made his way up the hill. Soon he stood at the place where Captain Picard had buried the man who had been his closest friend and lover. Spock had not expected to feel such suffering. Not after believing that Jim was gone forever for so long. He had made peace with that part of his life, difficult as it had been. At least he had thought so. Now, he was not so sure. 

Memories fleeted through his mind, out of control. Jim's laughter as he had made a deadpan joke. Spock suddenly remembered the satisfaction he had felt at those moments. He had indeed enjoyed the times when he had managed to state something outrageous to Jim, without so much as twitching an eyebrow. Jim had loved that as well. This had been an ongoing report between them. Jim had tried so hard to make him smile or laugh, and he had done everything in his power not to succumb to Jim's brilliant laughter and outrageous humor. 

He missed that still, so much. Nobody else had ever managed to make him feel so alive, so loved and so much like he belonged. 

"Oh, Jim," he sighed. "Why did the universe deny us this reunion?" 

It was so illogical to wish for something that could never be. Jim was dead. Jim was gone forever. His mind accepted it, but his soul did not. The agony that washed through him was impossible to fight. He felt like doubling over. He fought it, but soon he was clutching at his stomach, trying to dispel the suffering, but to no avail. 

"Jim." 

It was not logical to feel such loss, a loss he thought he had learned to deal with. Tears burned behind his eyelids, but he fought them, fought them so hard, and managed to suppress them. 

A few days prior to his arrival at Veridian III, his old bond to Jim had flared alive unexpectedly, calling him here, only to snap apart again when Jim died while trying to stop Dr. Tolian Soran. The missing bond was now bleeding like an open, raw wound in Spock's mind. He had not been able to reach Veridian III in time, and it pained him more than he could say. Perhaps if he had been there sooner he would have been able to save Jim's life? Spock knew it was illogical to wish for something that could not be, and yet.... 

Must keep control, must fight the agony. But as the seconds ticked by, the emptiness left by Jim's death swallowed him and Spock ceased the fighting. This was not a matter of logic. This was his human half needing to experience and accept the sorrow, and hopefully, eventually heal. 

Watching the stones covering the lonely grave, Spock allowed the grief to flow through him and overtake him. He kneeled by the grave, unable to stay on his feet, and touched the cross as if to try and find some trace of that golden presence, the warm spirit of his t'hy'la. It was futile, he knew. The cross was dead, like the spirit of his beloved, the air around the grave empty and the void in his heart unfulfilled. Spock wanted to say something, but what was there left to say, after so many years? 

"I could never forget you, t'hy'la. I never bonded again."

Nobody would ever be able to give him what Jim had given him. Jim had so many qualities that he had been unable to find in anyone else. Offering him an undemanding, accepting friendship nobody else had ever been capable of giving, Jim had truly been special. The quicksilver mind of the human had constantly challenged Spock, both his emotions and his logic, and the warm, joyful sexuality they had experienced together had freed his spirit like nothing else ever could. 

He shivered, bowing his head to the wind, suddenly feeling chilled, even though the sun shone from a clear blue sky. The sands rustled eerily around him, as if to forebode what was to come. He could feel the chemical imbalance in his body increase. 

Pon farr. 

Relentlessly, the hormones were rising within him, claiming him to the madness of the blood no Vulcan could escape. 

He had gone through his blood fever with the help of one priestess at Mount Seleya many times since Jim's disappearance. It had been adequate. It had kept him alive, but it had not been the same as sharing the warmth and love of his t'hy'la's mind. Now there would be no priestess to see him through his fever, she was gone too. Neither was there his resurrected t'hy'la to slake this burning thirst as his hope had been for a short moment in time. 

The year before, he had expected the pon farr, but it never came, and he thought that perhaps he had entered the shakuvaya - the aging, early. It was the time where Vulcan males no longer experienced the blood fever. 

The Vulcan menopause, Jim had always teased him. Spock could still remember the mischievous smile that lit his beloved's eyes as he needled him. The last time Jim had uttered those words was only a few days before he had disappeared into the Nexus. He'd lain on their bed in the apartment in San Francisco, buck naked, completely unselfconscious and unashamed. Instead, he had stretched, flaunting his evident arousal. Spock felt the stirrings in his body at the memory. But Jim Kirk would never again satisfy these longings within him. Spock closed his eyes another moment, before looking out over the landscape. 

When the bond had flared alive it had forced another pon farr into life. He knew some Vulcan males weren't always regular, and truth be told, he hadn't always been. No shakuvaya for him, yet. He was still young enough, healthy enough to experience the pon farr. Then, he had felt joy. Jim was alive, and he had believed that he would finally have that which he had craved for nearly a century - the solace and the comfort of his bondmate's mind. But the bond had snapped apart almost instantly and their reunion was not to be. And he still was in pon farr. The priestess who had stood him by for so many years was gone now, and it was too late to form such a link with someone he did not know, even if he did reach Vulcan in time. He would surely die, but no matter how illogical, he could not find it in himself to care. 

Spock sat by the grave, allowing a lifetime of grief to consume him. The wetness on his cheeks dried quickly in the unforgiving desert sun. 

* * *

Data's excellent hearing made it impossible for him not to hear the grief or the words spoken by the Vulcan. It seemed the rumors must have been true, and Ambassador Spock and Captain Kirk had evidently shared something more than friendship. They had been lovers. Data wondered about a sexual relationship between two men. He had heard about such things, and even encountered it once or twice in his existence, but it was not logical. 

Nor was the sympathy that flowed through him at the agonizingly lonely sounds coming from such a proud man. Perhaps emotions were not always reasonable?

* * *

Spock watched the grave one last time, as if to imprint it into his mind, knowing that it was the last time he would be near his t'hy'la, in body or spirit. It was difficult to leave, but there was no reason for him to remain, so he moved toward the slope again, sliding down the rolling sand on the side of the hill and came to a halt beside Data, who stood waiting for him silently. 

"Are you finished?" he asked. 

"Yes. We may leave again."

Data turned and opened the doors to the shuttle and together they walked inside. But before Data started the engines he turned to Spock. 

"Ambassador. This may be considered forward of me, but I wish to make a query."

Spock looked at the android, and knew what was to come. He found he didn't really mind if Data asked about his and Jim's relationship. 

"Very well. Ask your question."

"Are the rumors true? Were you and Captain Kirk ... emotionally involved?"

Even an android was perceptive enough to see through him at this moment. Spock sighed and allowed himself to nod. 

"We were bond-mates," Spock replied. Normally he would not speak of such things to a stranger, but Data could be trusted, and one could argue that they were old friends. Spock found he truly needed someone to talk to. It was quite ironic that he would turn to an unfeeling android to speak of such emotional matters. 

"I see," Data said. "You...loved each other." It seemed he was truly trying to comprehend what that meant, not only out of curiosity. It seemed he cared, but how could he? Spock dismissed the thought as purely delusional. Data was no more than a highly advanced computer. 

"Yes. Forgive my bluntness, Data, but what could you know about love? I was under the impression that feelings were something you had no knowledge of."

Data laughed, and Spock startled. Data looked into his eyes with a rather strange expression on his face. It seemed almost jaded. Spock was beginning to realize that perhaps he didn't know all there was to know about Enterprise D's second officer. When they had met last, laughter had not been on Data's repertoire. 

"I was equipped with an emotion chip very recently." Data explained." It fused into my positronic brain and cannot be removed. I have been dealing with... somewhat uncomfortable... emotions lately."

"Ah, that can be a most distressing experience." Despite everything, Spock found himself intrigued by the prospect of Data having emotions. Why he was so intrigued, he could not explain even to himself. 

"Yes, it is most unsettling."

"It is difficult when one is unable to control them," Spock said almost to himself. 

"Yes. In fact, this is what I would like to discuss with you, Ambassador. I believe that you are perhaps one of the few who could understand and advice me."

"Indeed. When I first arrived on the Enterprise, it was not easy to adjust. The crew was mainly human and I had never encountered such emotional creatures."

"I am finding the entire experience very uncomfortable," Data admitted. "I have spoken to Counselor Troi. She assures me there are emotions that are quite pleasant, but I have yet to experience them. I am familiar with fear, guilt, loss, sorrow, anxiety, hatred, shame." Data paused as if realizing it would take a very long time if he were to repeat all of the emotional states he had been experiencing over the last few days. "I have unfortunately not experienced many positive states of mind. I have laughed and found it enjoyable, and I felt relief when my feline, Spot, was found alive in the rubble after the Enterprise had crashed."

"There are quite a few other, much more pleasurable, emotional states you could experience, Data," Spock said, not unkindly. 

* * *

Data scrutinized the Vulcan for a moment or two and then he made up his mind. Carefully weighing pros and cons was done in the matter of a nanosecond. Spock probably never even noticed how seriously he was considering this matter. 

"I wish to experience all these emotions, Ambassador," Data said determinedly and watched Spock's expression change. "In fact, I have a proposition to make. You are in pon farr," he continued bluntly. "From what I understand, you were hoping to find James Kirk here, who was your bond-mate, but he is dead."

Data hoped he wasn't stepping out of line with this. Carefully, he tried to gauge the Vulcan's reaction. Considering the state of mind he was in, Data was not at all sure how Spock would react. He might as well take him up on the offer as hit him. 

Data saw Spock wince at the frank words, and belatedly, he wished he had phrased it differently. It was too late now, so he regarded Spock calmly, waiting for the Vulcan to either confirm or deny what he had just said. Spock rose, and walked away. His gaze followed Spock intently, as he finally replied. 

"You are correct. I am in the early stages of the blood fever. May I ask how you came to that conclusion?"

"My positronic mind is equipped with any number of medical databases, as well as equipment to read most bodily functions. Your temperature is up by 3.4 degrees, your heart rate has increased and your glandular efficiency is up by 32.8 percent. All of this indicates, in your Vulcan dominant physique, the state of pon farr."

Spock stapled his hands in front of him. 

"Indeed," he said dryly, "I am finding this entire conversation quite surreal," he admitted. 

Data did not quite know how to respond to that. 

"Have you found someone who will see you through the blood fever?" 

"No, Mr. Data, I have not. I assume that you are quite ... curious ... about certain aspects of humanoid sexuality?"

"I am fully equipped and programmed with multiple techniques," Data said proudly. "I have also once in my life experienced sexual intercourse with a female." 

"I assume this was before you were given the emotion-chip?"

"Yes, it was."

"How much do you know about Vulcan pon farr, Data?"

Data searched his database once more, just to make certain he had not missed some vital part of information about the condition. 

"Very little. There are only the few notes made by Dr. Leonard McCoy about yourself, made when you were a member of the Enterprise crew. Your home-world has not been forthcoming in the matter." 

"I would imagine not. But, you do know that if I do not mate, I will go mad and eventually die?"

"Yes. This is primarily the reason why I am suggesting this solution."

"I understand." Spock said and pointed out: "It is not very flattering." 

"Flattery is illogical, is it not, Ambassador?" Data said. "However, I must admit that I find you aesthetically pleasing, and the brilliance of your mind is most attractive." 

"Is that why you are making this proposition, Mr. Data?" Spock asked. 

"I find, that I do not wish for you to die, Ambassador Spock." Data said simply. 

* * *

Strangely touched by the words, Spock pulled his eyes off Data and pressed the handle that made the doors to the shuttle open. He looked out at the barren landscape. His heartbeat had increased marginally, and the prospect of mating with Data was surprisingly pleasing. 

"Normally, I would go to Vulcan to a priestesses at Mount Seleya. She would see me through my blood fever. However, she who used to service me has died. I have gone too far in my cycle, I will not reach Vulcan in time to link with someone new."

"I understand, Ambassador Spock. My offer is genuine. Will you accept it?"

"Mr. Data," Spock said. "I am not sure this is advisable. I am an old man, and my demise would not be premature. In fact, I did not believe I would experience the pon farr again. When it came and I found Jim to be dead, I reconciled with this and am now anticipating the ending of my life."

"You are not very old by Vulcan standards," Data protested. 

"You are correct," Spock turned his head toward the android and looked at him seriously. "But there is no man or woman in this universe that will ever give me what Jim Kirk gave me, Data. I will never again find such happiness."

Data rose from the helm to stand right next to Spock. The warmth from Data's body radiated toward Spock and he felt the sudden pull again. Indeed, Data was a most attractive man, but he was not Jim Kirk. Nevertheless, the pressure of Data's hand against his shoulder sent shivers through his body. 

"Perhaps that is true, Ambassador," Data said. "But I am quite certain that there is more in this life that you can enjoy. It would be illogical to end it when you do not have to."

"Why are you doing this?" Spock asked again and looked into the yellowish eyes. 

"I have stated several of my reasons. I find you attractive and I do not wish for you to die. I am sexually inexperienced and I am certain that a relationship with you will be most satisfactory."

"Those are very good reasons, Mr. Data," Spock said. " Does the prospect of gaining sexual experience with another male not displease you?" Spock asked and arched an eyebrow at the android. 

"I do not believe so. I have studied the phenomena and come to the conclusion that homosexuality is accepted among not all, but most, humanoid races. I have also read literature on the matter and from what I have been able to gather, most humans consider homosexual experiences part of their education. I do not see why having sex with you should be unacceptable." 

"I am still not certain..." Spock said and averted his eyes. Again, Data surprised him. 

"I have seen you look at me, Ambassador. You desire me, whether it is the pon farr speaking or not, I do not know, but you do desire me sexually."

"Perhaps," Spock said softly. 

"Why not admit it? Does it make you feel guilty?"

Data's question was eerily perceptive, and Spock realized how illogical such guilt was. Jim was dead and gone. There was nothing he could do about that, and Jim would have wanted him to live, and to move on, no matter how much they had loved each other. 

"Very well." Spock said, making the decision against any lingering doubts. He lifted his head and looked into Data's eyes. "I accept your offer."

Data moved around to stand before Spock immediately. Spock could hardly suppress the amused twitch at the corner of his mouth. Data was indeed innocent in many ways. He was loyal, trustworthy, intelligent - and very naïve. Spock lifted his hand to rest against Data's chest, halting the android's sudden advance. 

"I am gratified. You are stronger than most humanoids, and I will not have to fear hurting you physically. It is important that you know that the pon farr stretches for many days. We cannot instigate our relationship here. I believe we must wait until we can find some privacy."

"Certainly, sir," Data said and sat at the helm immediately. "Then, shall we return to the Farragut?" 

"I believe that would be the best course of action at the moment."

"I shall take leave for two weeks and we will find a suitable location for our - agreement," Data continued. "I have approximately 8 months and 22 days of accumulated shore leave time."

* * *

Pon farr, Spock thought a couple of days later. It had progressed further and it was becoming increasingly difficult to fight the turmoil inside him. How this state of mind defied everything that was normal. He was used to being able to keep his emotions in check, appearing to the world as aloof and calm. It wasn't even an effort; it was part of who he was - Vulcan. He might have had more difficulty than most of his kind in keeping his emotions in check, due to his human half, but he had learned and it was seldom a source of hardship anymore. 

The blood fever changed everything. It made his emotions flare like a violent firestorm, and soon not even meditation would help keep his calm. He would eventually be ruled by these passions without hope of escape. It was an unsettling time for any Vulcan, but with the right partner it was also a pleasurable experience. How this pon farr would end he could not predict and anxiety grew in him. He still felt that illogical guilt, and he tried to understand why. Kirk was dead. He had not felt guilty for seeking release with the priestesses at Mount Seleya. 

"Why, Jim? Why can I not let go of the guilt?" 

Data.

The name whispered through his mind like a prayer, and the desire that followed gave him his answer. Data was not like the priestesses. He wanted Data. He meant more than the priestesses ever could, and Data had the potential of becoming someone special. 

Jim would have wished me to be happy, Spock thought to himself. He knew this to be true. Soon, the Farragut would reach Earth and he might find relief, thanks to Data. Spock moved to get ready for the night. Jim would have approved.

* * *

The Farragut moved steadily toward Earth and as the days went by, Spock came to terms with his grief and missing Jim. The wound of the broken bond was still raw and painful, and perhaps he would need a healer's help, but first, he had to get through the pon farr. 

Data had been surprisingly helpful since they had come to their agreement. He had prepared everything for them and Spock felt a deep gratitude to the efficient android. He already felt a certain amount of affection for Data. Surprising perhaps, but welcome. Spock knew that having some kind of feeling for the person who would see him through his Time would make it easier. Spock grappled with the guilt, which still lingered, but gradually allowed his mind to focus on Data, his thoughts to circle more around his partner-to-be each day. Since there was no bond, this was the only way for him to focus his need on the mate he had chosen. 

The day before they would reach Earth, he was about to go see Data, and stopped abruptly at the doors to the commander's quarters. Something had suddenly occurred to him; the greatest importance in relieving the pon farr was the meld. How could he not have stopped to think of that? Was melding with Data even possible? The despair was violent and he sagged against the wall. Without the meld, his pon farr might not be placated. The fact that he had missed such an important part of his planning frightened him and told him just how far gone he already was. 

The mind meld was a joining of katras, and the question was - did Data even have a katra? Would Spock find such an essence in this man-made creation that was striving with all his might to become human?

Shakily, Spock pressed the door chime. 

"Enter," Data said, and Spock moved inside the quarters, stoically suppressing the panic that threatened. His emotions were certainly in turmoil now. Finding Data, feeling an instant connection to him, and arranging this had brought him hope and a will to live. Now that he had found that he truly wished to continue without Jim, that chance of continued existence might slip through his fingers. 

"Data," Spock said. 

"Yes."

"I have some concerns we must discuss."

"Have a seat, Ambassador."

Spock sighed and sat on the indicated sofa and looked at Data. He watched the immaculate hair and the rigid stance and realized that Data in many ways reminded him of himself. The curiosity and scientific mind were only parts of it. He realized that the desires to belong and feel were as deeply rooted in himself as they were in Data. His fondness for this unlikely kindred spirit grew. 

"Please, call me Spock. We are about to enter an intimate relationship. I do not feel comfortable using our formal titles."

"As you wish, Spock," Data said and sat beside him. Spock reached out and placed a hand on Data's arm, wanting the connection, as if physically touching would make the fear go away. "What is it that you need to discuss with me." Data continued.

His grip around Data's arm tightened and Spock sighed when a warm hand covered his in a more caring and intimate grip than he would have expected. 

"I have some concerns." Spock silenced and closed his eyes. The pon farr was progressing rapidly and he wanted Data desperately, but they had agreed to wait until they reached Earth. There was really no other choice. He pulled his hand away reluctantly, already missing the feeling.

"Please continue."

"I am a Vulcan, and I am in pon farr. Pon farr is resolved by engaging in sexual intercourse," Spock said as calmly as he could. Over the years, he had become more comfortable with speaking about this biological phase. It was illogical the way his kind tried to avoid speaking of, and being shamed by it. Still that cultural taboo, so deeply ingrained in him, made the topic difficult to discuss. 

"Yes. This is information that I am aware of. What is the problem?"

* * *

Anxiety was beginning to rise inside Data. Spock seemed worried, and the face that he had come to know so well over the last five days looked troubled. He waited patiently for Spock to tell him. The Vulcan's reply was not immediate. Data rubbed his hand against Spock's, trying to reassure him. He found that touching had become a greater part of their relationship, and he also realized that he was enjoying it immensely. He was looking forward to what the pon farr would bring them. 

Finally Spock began his explanation: "What you may not know is that Vulcans in pon farr, during mating, engage in mind-meld."

"I see." Data was beginning to realize what was on Spock's mind. 

"It is an integral part of the cycle."

"I understand. And since I am an android, in essence a machine, you are fearful that my capability to meld is less than adequate?"

"Yes."

Data remained silent for some time. He was in fact so disturbed by this news that he didn't immediately remember that he had vast amounts of information he could access. Perhaps he could provide Spock with an answer? 

"Please wait," he said, and started sifting through his databases. His positronic matrix held all the information that was available about the first Enterprise and its crew. Most of it was no longer classified and he had free access to it all. 

"Processing." Data said, and suddenly he snapped his eyes open and he turned toward Spock, who waited, somewhat impatiently. 

"I have reviewed all the information of the original Enterprise's missions. I wished to see if there was anything that would indicate an occurrence where you had melded with a mechanical mind. There are several such instances."

Spock waited, and Data saw comprehension dawn on his face. "Of course. You are referring to Nomad and V'Ger?"

"Yes," Data agreed. 

"Mind-melding in pon farr is somewhat different, but you may be right in that it is not impossible. Thank you, Data."

"The most logical thing to do would be to initiate a mind-meld, Spock," Data said matter-of-factly. 

"Indeed...." Spock said. "However, if I initiate a mind-meld now and we are successful, I will not be capable of breaking it." 

A shiver ran down Data's spine when he saw the look on Spock's face. The dark eyes were shining with desire. It was a look he had come to see once in a while in the past days. Spock was normally very adept at hiding his condition, but it was progressing rapidly. 

* * *

Spock watched Data carefully, feeling the desire consume him. Knowing that Data was aware of it served only to inflame is passion further. He watched Data's hands, resting on slender thighs and they seemed unbearably attractive. How would they feel against his naked skin? Spock swallowed and continued. "My blood fever has progressed so far that I will not be able to control myself. I desire you too much."

"That does pose a problem," Data said, and continued, as if noticing just then. "I find myself very aroused by your words." His hand moved to touch Spock. 

"It appears your emotion chip is functioning perfectly," Spock said wryly and shivered when Data's hand brushed his cheek, moving toward his neck and the sensitive area behind his ear. 

Data's eyes were suddenly apprehensive and sad. "I was convinced that I would be capable of helping you, but I am quite aware of the odds against my having a katra. Who has ever heard of a machine with a soul?"

Spock couldn't bear the desolate tone in Data's voice, and reached out to caress the smooth skin of the android's cheek. Perhaps it was futile? Perhaps it was truly for the best? Perhaps he was meant to die now, after seeing his t'hy'la's grave at last?

"If any machine ever had a katra, Data, I am quite certain it would be you. You are beautiful, inside and out."

Data was indeed beautiful as he lifted his face toward Spock. He looked into the golden eyes, fascinated, as they shifted in color, seeming almost liquid in their appearance. Spock found himself transfixed by the expression on that face. 

Data's new emotions were something Spock knew he had difficulties comprehending, and the arousal he felt was not concealed and Spock's breath caught in his throat at the openness and directness of that passionate gaze. Data seemed so innocent in many ways; a sexually inexperienced mind in a man's body, open and guileless, and Spock found those qualities desirable and enchanting in their own way. 

Unable to resist, he leaned forward to kiss Data. He didn't really know what to expect. Would it feel strange? Would it be very different from kissing Jim, Zarabeth or any number of other beings he had been intimate with throughout his life? 

* * *

Data's world shifted as warm lips pressed against his. They were so soft, softer than he could remember. Tasha had kissed him long ago, but it appeared that his memory was not quite flawless, for he could not remember her kiss ever feeling like this. Could the emotion chip actually alter his perceptions so significantly? 

Spock's tongue probed carefully for entrance and Data opened his mouth, allowing that questing tongue inside. He moaned softly, finding that his emotions had overridden every other system in his positronic matrix. It felt highly unsettling at first, but as it progressed his focus shifted completely to the almost electrical, pleasurable sensations the pressure of Spock's mouth elicited. 

He truly forgot everything else. All other systems shut down. He could no longer calculate the new feline supplement for Spot and he could not plan his schedule for the following day. Nor could he concentrate on the medical tasks Beverly Crusher had asked him to help her with in the Farragut's Sickbay. Truly, all that was functioning beside his emotion chip were the necessary tasks to keep his body functional.

* * *

Spock was surprised how normal the kiss felt. It felt like kissing Jim. The slightly musk-like smell from an aroused male reached his nostrils and he moaned. He pulled back. Could he do this? He wanted Jim. T'hy'la... but Jim was dead. 

Spock pulled back, watching the pale face before him. Data's face was filled with wonder and longing. 

"Kiss me again," he pleaded. The hand on Spock's shoulder moved upward, pulling his head closer. This time being the aggressor, Data kissed him hungrily. At first, Spock resisted, but then remembered Jim. Jim had once continued living when he thought Spock had died. He, too, had done so and now he must do it again. 

Spock was now kissing back, and found himself enjoying the feel of Data's tongue dueling with his own. Data seemed quite adept, learning quickly. Eagerly, he suckled Spock's tongue inside his mouth and they tasted each other. The need and the want rose in Spock like water reaching its boiling point. The kiss deepened, and now that he had managed to push the guilt away it was difficult to remember why he shouldn't give in to the soul-deep desire that was eating inside him. 

"Data," he murmured. "We cannot - not yet."

Data's hand moved caressingly from his neck, over his chest, leaving a trace of liquid fire across his sexually starved body, to finally cup the straining erection that was still confined in his trousers. Unable to fight his own need, Spock reclined. Data followed and pressed him against the back of the sofa. Moaning deep in his throat, Spock arched into the caress as Data flattened a palm against the hardness between his legs. The hand gave exquisite pressure and sent ripples of ecstasy through him. 

"Oh," Spock moaned, spreading his legs further and the kiss deepened. How pleasurable this was, and so dangerous. He was not going to be able to keep the intensity of the pon farr away much longer if Data kept touching him that way. 

* * *

Data's breathing was growing harsher, and the kiss more eager. "Spock," he groaned. "I have not ever felt like this. I feel as if I am on fire, but it is not an unpleasant sensation. I want you to touch me. Please touch me, Spock," he pleaded. 

Begging for Spock's touch, Data had lost all measure of control. His erection had not followed his commands. It had appeared all on its own and he was powerless to shut off the emotions that were running rampant through his body. He wanted to be touched, to be caressed. He needed to be stimulated by Spock. Without thinking, he moved to straddle Spock and their groins came into contact. Spock moaned and the sound served only to send Data into something he would have called overload, and still his body functioned. 

* * *

Data was like a young man, for the first time tasting the sweetness of physical love. It was alluring, tempting and Spock almost gave in. At the very last moment he managed to collect himself. He pushed Data's hand away, forcing the reluctant android to sit beside him again.

Oh, he was so hard, and he wanted this so much. He closed his eyes and fought the need that coursed through him.

"We must not do this now," Spock said hoarsely. Reluctantly, but with finality, he pulled away. He forced himself to calm down, slowing his breathing deliberately. "If we continue this, I will be in no condition to leave the Farragut for several days. I have explained this to you."

"Yes," Data said and pulled back, evidently with no small amount of effort on his part as well. Spock was grateful for the android's control. "I have no power over these unfamiliar sensations, Spock," he said. "It is very ... strange. I am not used to being enslaved by my emotions."

Data rose to his feet. Spock followed his movements hungrily. Data moved precisely and the economy of motion was powerfully attractive, and the need to mate was spreading through Spock's veins like wildfire now. 

"I must go," he said. 

"But... "

"I must. We shall speak later."

Considerably later, Spock thought as he hurriedly left Data's quarters. 

* * *

That night was among the most difficult times Spock could ever remember going through. This time, someone was there, waiting for him, wanting him, but he could not succumb to the need; not just yet. The necessity to wait caused him to feel a strange mixture of pleasure and pain. Spock could not sleep, but kept pacing his quarters, almost giving into the desire to go to Data several times over the early hours of ship's morning. He fought it relentlessly. Soon they would arrive on Earth and he would no longer have to wait. 

* * *

"What is it like, Spock?" Data asked as they entered the aircar that would bring them to the house that Data had rented for his vacation. He was intensely curious to know if Spock was constantly feeling the arousal that he had just tasted the day before. Data found that if that was true, he admired Spock very much. 

"I do not know what you are referring to," Spock said, sitting stiffly in the passenger's seat. 

They had practically fled from the Farragut. Through the night they had sneaked away, avoiding the inevitable horde of PR people that always seemed to gather when Spock cha Sarek came to Earth. Thankfully, the crash of the Enterprise and Captain Picard's information about Viridian III, Dr. Soran and the Nexus seemed more attractive to the press then he did at this very moment. Data was quite proud of the escape that he had orchestrated with the help of Captain Picard. He knew that Spock was very grateful for the fact that nobody had caught them leaving in the shuttle that took them down to Earth. . 

"How do you feel - right now?" Data explained, his eyes trained on Spock. 

Spock closed his eyes. His face held a slight tinge of anger. "I wish you would not ask, Data," Spock said. 

Data stiffened and turned his gaze forward, giving the piloting of the 'car his full attention. He had realized too late that he should not have asked. He was too curious. Many times since he had gotten his emotion chip he had realized that his curiosity was not always welcome, no matter how much he wanted to know everything. 

"I apologize," he said curtly. 

* * *

Spock realized that the android's newfound emotions had been hurt. It was not a very good start of their... relationship. Spock admitted that he had been alone for so long that he had forgotten what it was like being open about such matters. 

"No, Data, I should apologize to you. I am not... accustomed to the intimacy involved in a sexual and emotional relationship. It has been ... many years, since I have indulged in such openness. I shall endeavor to explain."

Data turned to him. "I seem to forget that Vulcans find curiosity quite annoying."

Spock turned to Data with a lifted eyebrow. His companion would never know what it took for him to continue this conversation. "Most Vulcans must find my personality highly annoying if that is the case," he said. Then he drew a deep breath and silenced a moment. He was uncertain of how to continue. 

"The pon farr is not very difficult to explain in biological terms. It proceeds in three phases. The wuh-rak vek - the first phase, is when the glands in a Vulcan's body start producing the hormones that will induce the pon farr. It begins approximately a week before the first symptoms appear."

Data was now looking at him with interest. Spock cleared his throat and looked out through the window, feeling warmth suffuse the tips of his ears. 

"I am causing you embarrassment," Data observed. "You do not have to.... "

"I am quite all right, Data." Spock interrupted. "Allow me to continue."

Data nodded. 

"The dahr-vek - the second phase, is when the individual becomes aware of his condition. Highly erratic behavior such as mood swings occurs. Oftentimes the individual has difficulties in suppressing anger, impatience or ...desire. He becomes unable to prevent emotional outbursts. If the male is bonded, this is when the female's reproductive phase is initiated."

Data looked at him expectantly. Spock was very well aware of the fact that this did not truly answer the question, but he had to begin somewhere, did he not? It was much easier to explain the physiological aspects of the pon farr than explain the emotional side of it, and what he personally was experiencing right now. 

He would much rather show what he felt right now to Data, but that would not be appropriate at this very moment. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to resist the need. Tingling sensations of pleasure rippled through him, a hunger he fought to suppress. He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. 

"The third and final phase of the pon farr is the plak tau, when the Vulcan male has to mate or die. That is when his glandular production is at its most elevated levels, and the emotional control is no longer possible to maintain."

"You are entering the final stage very soon, are you not?" Data said softly.

"Yes," Spock breathed. "I have in fact been experiencing the onset of the plak tau for approximately the last ten minutes and I wish we would arrive very soon. I am... at the end of my patience." 

"We will be there in four point six minutes, Spock," Data ensured him, the golden eyes trained on him passionately. Spock closed his eyes to the invitation there. It was difficult enough to resist as it was. 

As the shuttle was going in for a landing, Spock's control was definitely reaching its breaking point. He could barely move through the haze of his need. His vision was blurred at the edges and focused completely on Data, the scent of him and the warmth coming from his body. The need to touch and taste and feel was overwhelming. 

"Spock," Data said softly. "Spock, let's go." 

He followed Data, not noticing any of the surroundings. Spock was quite certain he had never felt like this and as the door closed behind them he finally let go. 

"Data," he groaned. "Data." 

He could feel hands, deftly moving over his clothes. 

"Easy," Data crooned. "I shall help you undress."

But Data was too slow, and Spock could not wait. He pushed Data's gold uniform aside, ripping the fabric in the process. The sound did not even make him stop for a moment. 

"I must... "

Data apparently understood. The clothes were off him more quickly than any human could have managed. His yellow eyes were clouded with want and he was erect. The sight of his partner aroused Spock further, and the hunger consumed him. 

"Data," he groaned. 

"Yes. Do what you must, Spock." 

Pushing Data against the wall, he groaned aloud as their hard cocks brushed together. He was unable to stop the rocking motion of his hips, needing the friction of the other man's erection against his own. He buried his face in the crook of Data's neck, inhaling the unique scent. The skin felt warm and smooth against his face, and Spock rubbed his cheek against it like a cat. Ripples of pleasure coursed through him at the contact. This was what he had needed for so long. It felt like an eternity since he had felt the touch of another; enjoyed the touch of another this way. 

His tongue flicked out to taste it, and Data gasped into his ear, leaning his head to the side to allow better access. The taste was human; salty with a touch of soap and a taste underneath that was all Data's own. Unique, but pleasant. 

Strong hands opened the fly of his pants and he gasped when his painfully hard cock jutted free of its confines. Data touched him greedily and the softness of the hands caressing him so intimately was pushing Spock rapidly out of control. He rocked into the touch, fingers playing deftly over his painfully hard sex, caressing, teasing. His world was suddenly centered around that touch, all control stripped from him. All he could sense was the exquisiteness of that touch. 

"Oh."

Hazel eyes. 

"I must have you."

Soft, unruly blond hair.

"Now."

Smooth, yielding and tanned skin. 

"Please."

The soft crooning voice of his t'hy'la. "Love you. Love you. Love you so much... "

Turning around in Spock's grip, Data spread his legs and said, softly: "You will not hurt me." 

Spock didn't stop to ask how that was possible. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered why, but all he could see was the other half of himself. Something inside him insisted that this was not possible.

Spock, I love you. 

He could not, would not, did not wish to fight it. 

"Jim!"

He grabbed his rigid shaft and moved it over the taut buttocks of his partner, seeking entrance. He was breathing raggedly, and the world swam before his eyes. He used his other hand to spread the cheeks wider, positioning himself between the soft mounds of flesh. Then he pushed. 

Make love to me. I want you!

It was pure bliss. Burying himself in that warmth was nearly the only thing he had been able to think of over the last few days. Forgotten was that barren planet, harboring the grave of his other half. 

Finally encased in the warm, tight channel was indescribable. Spock thrust inside Data rapidly, the android not wavering for a second, his hands seeking leverage at the smoothness of the wall he was pushed up against. He wasn't struggling against what was done to him, he was not responding either. He was simply allowing Spock to take the edge off, allowing the Vulcan to use him. 

Spock was not aware of who he was fucking. All his mind could see was the brilliant smile of the being that had once been his other half. Spock was a creature now focused on the complete and utter joy of slaking the need that had been riding him for so long. 

"Oh. Jim. T'hy'la. Oh," he groaned as he felt his release approach. 

Spock, my love. Let go. Let go with me. Love you. 

His loins ached with the intensity of it, and soon he was exploding in an orgasm so violent he could hardly keep himself upright. Strong hands moved to hold him steady and he sagged against Data's back. 

Will always love you. 

The haze was dissipating very slowly, reality manifesting itself. Jim was gone. 

"No, Oh, please no," Spock begged. 

* * *

The frighteningly empty tone of Spock's voice tugged at Data. If he had had a heart, it would have ached. As he turned around, he watched Spock worriedly. Violent sobs tore through the Vulcan's chest, and it was clear that he was powerless to stop them. Data slid down on the floor beside Spock, pulling the older man into his embrace, rocking him. 

"Shush, it will be all right, Spock," Data whispered. 

"I am sorry, Data," he whispered hoarsely. 

"For speaking your bond-mate's name as you climaxed, for missing him? For wishing that I was James Kirk?" Data spoke softly, trying to make sure that Spock knew that he understood and was not hurt. He felt protective of this half-human who in some aspects was so much like himself. The pain in the dark eyes spoke to him of knowledge of loneliness and what it was like being an outsider. Spock met his gaze, the tears slowly drying on his cheeks. Data put his arms around Spock, pulling him into a fierce hug. 

* * *

"I feel empty, Data," Spock said. "I miss him." 

The reality had crashed down on him as soon as his release claimed him and it felt like everything he loved had been ripped away once again.

"I have never loved anyone," Data said and the grip around Spock's waist tightened. "Come, let us lie down. You are getting cold."

They rose, and moved slowly through the house, Spock leaning on Data, until they reached the master bedroom. Data pushed the covers aside and they lay down beside each other. Data continued as if he hadn't been distracted. 

"Tasha was the Security chief on the Enterprise on the first year of our mission. She died a very meaningless death. At the time, her demise did not mean much to me. I had no emotion-chip. I could not feel the grief the rest of the crew felt when she died."

Data silenced as if searching for words. 

"However. Since my emotion-chip was installed, I often look back on the relationship I had with Tasha and the memories of her that I have, and I find that I miss her. My life still feels empty without her. I did not love Tasha, the way you must have loved Captain Kirk, so I may not ever be able to truly understand the loss you feel. I only wish that I some day may experience what you felt for him."

Spock didn't know how to answer that. He simply reached out to kiss Data, tasting him for what he was, not comparing him to anyone else. He found the taste of the kiss quite pleasant and moved to lie atop his partner, the fever inside him far from sated, and he felt tenderness toward Data for giving him his life, and his sanity back. 

Data accommodated him immediately by spreading his legs. Determined not to lose control so utterly again, he caressed his lover, hoping to elicit some of the positive emotions he had promised that day when they sealed their agreement. 

Data lay there, with his eyes open, watching him curiously. Spock allowed a small smile to quirk his lips and moved to kiss the pale skin on Data's cheek, slowly moving over the chin toward the throat, kissing and licking all the way. 

Data sighed and leaned his head back so Spock could reach better. 

"Does this feel good?" Spock asked, not knowing how long he could stay lucid. He would try to avoid being overwhelmed by the blood fever again so soon.

"Yes, it is a tingling sensation moving from my neck to my nipples and my groin. I find myself unable to control my responses. It is... "

"Shhh." Spock said and kissed Data again, touching the smooth, muscular body reverently. He was beautiful. Spock moved down Data's body, splaying his fingers over the flat stomach, fascinated by the stark difference between the color of their skin. Data's was pale, almost white, with a slight golden tang, almost metallic in appearance, whereas his was much darker, olive tanned. Data's body was smooth and hairless, just like... Spock halted his thoughts there. This was Data, and he would give him his full attention. He would not lose himself in the memories. 

Data tried to suppress a soft moan that slipped from his mouth as Spock licked his way over the collarbone down to the taut nipples. 

"Yes," Data whispered as Spock worried the nipple with his lips, biting it gently and then laving it with his tongue. Spock gasped as Data's cock hardened against his stomach. Soon, he was moving against Spock uncontrollably. "This feels very good," Data moaned. 

Meeting Data's thrusts, Spock felt the control slipping from him. He would not be able to stay in control until they had melded, until the plak tau had been sated with a mind-touch. 

"I need you," Spock whispered

"Yes," Data moaned. "Yes."

As he moved into position, Data spread his legs, allowing him entrance, but this time he was urging Spock on. 

"Please, penetrate me. It feels so good."

Spock moved his hand over Data's opening, brushing it experimentally. Data gasped. It seemed he had the same erogenous zones as most other humans, and he proceeded to touch Data there, moving his hands over the testicles, gracing the taut sack with his short nails. Data bucked into his touch, The strong hands that rested against Spock's torso splayed over his taut chest muscles, massaging him. It felt good and Spock moaned at the ecstasy building inside him. Spock wanted to enter Data, immediately, but he fought the urge, and moved lower. Data lifted his head to look at him and their eyes met just as Spock bent to lick the hard shaft in front of his face. Data eyes widened. 

"Oh, shit," he said. Spock arched an eyebrow but did not say anything. "I am going to ... climax if you touch me like that."

"Good," Spock said before taking the entire shaft in his mouth, licking and sucking it, tasting it. Data hardened further in his mouth, and the gasps was driving Spock out of control.

"Oh, you are so hot... so wet. So good... oh...!" Data threw his head back and arched from the bed, mouth-fucking Spock uncontrollably as the sensation racked his body. Spock took him in without effort. He found that the vision of Data letting go completely was a powerfully erotic one and he suddenly understood what Jim had meant. 

Words once uttered by his t'hy'la whispered through his mind. 

"Spock, you're always so controlled and so calm. There's nothing that turns me on more than seeing you lose it. You're so sexy it drives me crazy." 

The memory made him moan, remembering how it had felt seeing Jim in the grips of passion. He couldn't stop the memories. Jim was the only man he had loved in his life, and it was difficult not to remember what they had had together. 

Suddenly he could not wait any longer, but moved to touch Data's opening. His partner tensed at the touch, but it was not from pain, Spock could tell. The cock in his mouth pulsed and Spock prepared for Data's orgasm. He pressed the finger inside, stretching the muscle carefully entering slowly and brushed the prostate inside. Spock couldn't help but feel awed at the miracle that was Data, how perfectly human he seemed. It was easy to forget what he really was. 

"Oh, yes." Data's eyes were screwed shut and his entire body tensed as the climax washed over him. Pulse after pulse moved through the cock in Spock's mouth and he took the semen-like fluid into his mouth and swallowed. It tasted a little salty. 

"Spock," Data whispered, and looked at him with heavy-lidded, passionate eyes. "Fuck me." 

Spock could feel his eyebrow rise, and his cock hardened at the word. He groaned. The breathlessness with which Data had spoken told him that was not planned on his part. 

"Yes," he said. "I will fuck you."

This time, he was a bit more careful as he entered Data, and the sensation was less urgent and Spock realized that he was going to enjoy this. He would find pleasure in his pon farr with this creature. He leaned over and kissed Data again, and the android met his caress eagerly, wrapping his arms around Spock, caressing him and running strong fingers through his hair. 

"Yes," Data murmured. "Fuck me. I am enjoying this very much, Spock." 

Rocking against each other slowly at first, but moving into a quicker pace as their passion rose, Spock felt Data's erection pressing into his stomach. He reached between them and started pumping the erection in rhythm with his thrusts. Data's inner muscles clenched around him in time with their movements and soon, Spock felt the tightening in his groin as another release approached. Instinctively, he reached for the meld points on Data's face and searched for the mind harbored there. 

He fell.   
He kept falling.   
Blackness surrounded him.   
He was swirling slowly through the pitch-black void.   
He was searching.   
Kept on searching, but found nothing.   
Fear clawed at him.   
He would get lost in the darkness and never find his way back.   
The void was so large, like a black hole sucking him in, devouring him. 

Just then, a flickering light appeared far away. Spock moved toward it, searching for the mind that would guide him through the plak tau. There, at last, he saw the essence of Data; a clear, metallic presence, but with a crystal-bright light that outshone everything else Spock had ever seen. It was brighter than Terra's Sol. It was certainly brighter than Eridani. He threw himself into that light and was enveloped by the essence that was Data. 

* * *

"I did not know that this was possible," Data said. There was a light in his eyes that Spock had not seen before. "Does this mean I have a katra - or a soul?"

Spock nodded. "It would seem so. Your core is very bright, Data. I have never seen anything like it. I have melded with others. Jim, Dr. McCoy, my parents and a number of other beings, but I have never seen such a brilliantly pure essence as yours, Data. There is no deception in you. You are truly beautiful." 

"Thank you, Spock." Data said, and pulled him closer for a kiss. This time it was different. Spock sensed the connection that had been there ever since they met by the Enterprise. 

"Data," he said softly as he pulled away from the kiss. 

"Yes."

"It would seem there has been a link formed between us. I did not set out to do this, and I was not aware of it."

"What does it mean?"

"It is not a bond, such as the one Jim and I had, but there is a link between us. It can be broken if you wish. This link means that if I ever go into pon farr again, I will want you, and only you. It may grow into something more over time." 

"Do you wish to break it?"

"No, Data. I do not."

END

**Author's Note:**

> Second Place Golden O (tie) for Best TNG story 2000  
> Second Place Golden O (tie) for Best TNG Slash story 2000  
> Rating: NC17 m/android   
> Series: TOS/TNG - set right after Generations.   
> Summary: Author's Note: This is a part of the Spock-fuh-q-fest idea. I have tried to keep the dates in this story right. I've assumed that Spock's first pon farr in Amok Time takes place in 2267. According to my calculations the Enterprise B was launched in 2295 (30 years after the first five-year mission by the original Enterprise.) The Enterprise D crashes on Veridian III approximately 80 years later in 2275. This means that Spock's 16th pon farr would occur at 2374. Too much research? Nah, it can never be too much.... On the other hand, if you follow the TNG timeline, Generations takes place in 2371 so calculations seem somewhat ... difficult to make...   
> Special Note: And, oh yes, Spock cries in this story, and I was discussing this with someone on ASCEM and stating that I could barely see Spock cry. This is a situation where I can easily see it. Jim is dead.   
> Thanks to: Lorre and VastSee for beta and bouncing ideas with me. You rock, my friends.


End file.
